Only Human
by daemon-angelus
Summary: Oneshot. Stellar learns the meaning of being human from Kira when he finally understands who he is inside.


dae: story takes place a year after the second bloody valentine war (gsd). stellar survived the attack in the Destroy and now lives in Orb with shinn and the others. she meets kira one day and while kira learns how to lighten up a little, stellar learns the meaning of being human. 

disclaimer: do you see my name in the credits in any gs/d episode?

* * *

Only Human; 

It was drizzling slightly in Orb but the ash grey sky did not stop the citizens, both Naturals and Coordinators, from performing their daily tasks. Still, at one in the afternoon, there were significantly fewer people on the streets than other sunnier days. Decked out in expensive suits and clutching branded handbags, the businessmen and women of Orb's financial district darted into the shelter of buildings. They couldn't risk their overpriced attires and accessories getting wet. Leaning against an alabaster building, a tall and slender brunette chuckled lightly to himself. Lavender eyes lazily watched the scene before him, not moving until the last of the executives entered their concrete prisons.

_Never could work cooped up in an office. I wonder how Cagalli can handle being stuck behind a desk all day..._

At the thought of his twin sister, the Coordinator laughed even harder. Shaking his head, he concluded it was a blessing that he was not the one who had to deal with stuffy politics and even messier political situations. Although the current head of Orb military did not have much to do ever since the second Bloody Valentine war had ended a year ago, he was still grateful for the freedom his sister had granted him. After all, the fiery blonde had allowed him special permission to personally own a gundam. A legendary one at that.

At the thought of his prized weapon, vivid memories of past battles flashed through his mind, amethyst orbs narrowing in frustration.

_My sword called Freedom..._

_How many had I killed? How many more smiles had I taken away? _

_I represented Freedom, or did I?_

_I brought both wars to an end... And yet, I still live in fear, guilt and remorse._

_I cannot regain what I once had, even if I am the Ultimate Coordinator..._

"Kira?"

The gundam pilot snapped his head around, surprised at being caught off guard so easily. He was amused at the thought. _No wars, no battles, and my sense of danger has reduced by so much that even she can sneak up on me?_

Regaining his composure, Kira smiled gently at the girl before him. "Hello. I haven't seen you around in a while. Stellar, right?"

The Extended giggled. "Yes, Sir. Stellar was wondering why Kira looked so... angry. So Stellar decided to say hello!"

The Coordinator blinked. His smile grew wider as he eyed the naive blonde. Was she really the pilot of the Destroy? The pilot he had nearly succeeded in killing? All of a sudden, Kira felt ashamed of himself. _To have nearly taken away such innocence with my already bloodstained hands... Do I really deserve to be called a hero?_

Wrapped up in his thoughts again, Kira did not notice Stellar speaking to him.

"- Could Kira?"

"Huh? Could Kira what?" _Oh great, I'm losing brain cells and speaking in third person now._

Magenta eyes pleaded with bewildered purple. "Could Kira please take Stellar somewhere?" She started poking her index fingers together, as if uncomfortable with what she was about to ask. "Erm... Could Kira take Stellar to a firing range?"

If he hadn't been leaning onto the building, Kira would have ended up on the floor. Sure he knew she was an Extended and from what Shinn had been telling the gang, Stellar definitely suffered psychological problems. But he had heard that since moving to Orb a year ago, Shinn had been working with Commander La Flaga, or Neo, and Orb's top medical experts in trying to allow Stellar to live a normal life. The process had been hard and painful, but Stellar was more or less a normal person now. Well, except for the third person speeches. He never expected her to ask him for a favour like this!

"Why would Stellar- I mean, why would you want to go to a firing range?" the brunette asked with an eyebrow cocked. "And why ask me? Why not ask Shinn?"

"Well..." the girl shuffled her feet uneasily, "Stellar never told Shinn she wanted to go to a firing range. Stellar was afraid Shinn would get angry. Shinn doesn't like guns anymore. But Stellar has to do something there. Stellar has to find out."

Kira restrained himself from asking what she wanted to find out. After all, if she did not even tell Shinn about it, he had enough brains to infer that it was something very personal to her.On the other hand, where was he going to find a firing range in the middle of the day?

He sighed. He didn't have anything better to do anyway, and he wanted to talk to Stellar more. She was so innocent, so carefree; it was as if she had never held a weapon in her life. _Different, I guess. Being around close friends who still grieve over the war has a depressing effect on you._

Slipping his hands into his jeans pockets, the brunette turned and began walking to a black sports car. "Come on, we don't have all day. The soldiers don't use the Orb military firing range between one-thirty to two. It isn't much but I really can't think of a better place," Kira said with a light shrug.

Upon hearing his words, Stellar immediately brightened and gave him a quick hug. "Thank you Kira! Stellar is grateful!"

Chuckling, Kira winked playfully at her, "It's my pleasure, as long as that hug remains between the two of us, okay?"

The blonde girl giggled as she nodded.

* * *

Lavender eyes studied the way Stellar positioned herself, all the while looking out of place in her flowing cerulean and snow white dress. If he hadn't known better, she looked too innocent and harmless to be considered one of the best soldiers in the EAF. However, the moment she picked up the gun, Kira Yamato knew Stellar was no ordinary girl.

_Her wrist, position, even stride is perfect. _He looked on in amazement. _She was trained to be a killer._

In the silence of the firing range, Kira felt a chill travel down his spine when he gazed into the once childlike eyes of the ex-EAF soldier. Stellar Loussier had transformed from a naive girl, into a deadly and vicious soldier. Her maroon eyes were devoid of emotion as she keyed in the sequence of targets.

_BAM!_

The shot hit dead centre in the target's head.

_BAM!_

Another head shot.

_BAM! BAM! BAM!_

Perfect.

The targets appeared faster and some came out three at a time, but the petite girl managed to fire a perfect shot everytime. Her aim was unbelievably accurate. Kira could only look on in awe. Though he was way above her in piloting skills, he had never fired a gun before. Even Athrun would be affected by the recoil from his own gun. Stellar fired as if it came naturally to her. Smiling, Kira closed his eyes as he shook his head.

"No!"

Hearing Stellar cry out, Kira immediately rushed to her. Giving her a once over, he saw that she was fine, except her eyes were trained on the last target that had emerged. Following her line of vision, Kira saw she had hit the target in the head. However, the hole was skewed slightly to the right.

_She missed the centre._

* * *

"One chocolate sundae and a strawberry cone, please."

The waiter nodded, proceeding to process the brunette's order. The man was friendly but his companion, a girl with golden hair, sat silently in her seat, not even bothering to look up from the table. Rolling his eyes, the waiter smirked. _Lovers' quarrel._

Said brunette could see the look on the waiter's face and he swore he was going to make sure that man was never employed within an eight hundred meter radius of the Orb Government House. Turning his attention back to the girl opposite him, Kira sighed.

"Stellar?"

No response.

"Stellar, please, tell me what's wrong. You've been this way since we left the firing range. If I did anything to anger you-"

"Perfect."

Kira stared at her, puzzled. "Perfect? What do you mean?"

She finally looked up from the table, tears brimming on the rim of her eyes. "Stellar was suppose to be perfect. Stellar was _made _to be perfect. But now Stellar knows Stellar isn't perfect." She roughly wiped her tears away and sniffled. "Maybe that's why no one wanted Stellar. Because Stellar wasn't perfect."

The Coordinator stared, mouth agape. Her words echoed in his mind. _She was expected to be the perfect soldier. Failure was not an option. If she made a mistake, it meant death._

He shuddered. _Was my father thinking the exact same way when he 'created' me?_

_I am the Ultimate Coordinator. I am perfect. Or at least, Ulen Hibiki wanted me to be._

Kira's brows furrowed, his mind shut out from the outside world.

_An impeccable soldier, a ruthless killer, a merciless weapon._

_Was I supposed to be nothing but a tool of destruction?_

He had the skills, he had the power, he had the ability to wipe out entire fleets and squadrons with just one gundam. Although destiny had been the one to lead him on the path of a soldier, maybe fate had already dictated that Kira Yamato was to be nothing but a weapon.

_Am I?_

Durandal's words rang in his brain. _'He had the potential, he had the ability, the Ultimate Coordinator. A pity he did not make full use of his talents and choose the right path. Or else... Who knows what kind of soldier he could have been?'_

The memories started flooding back. _It started with the Strike, then Freedom. I was considered the best, unbeatable. I was... Perfect._

_The perfect soldier._

"No."

Magenta eyes blinked in confusion. "Kira?"

His expression was serious, not a shadow of a smile played on his lips. "No one is perfect, not even me. People wanted me to be the perfect soldier, but I could never be one, no one could. I may be the Ultimate Coordinator but even I am not perfect. Do you know why Stellar?"

Hesitant, she slowly shook her head.

"Because I am only human. A human is not suppose to be perfect. We try our best to bring out each other's strong points while working to strengthening our weak ones. But even then, no one is perfect. That is human nature and no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we change our genes, no matter who wants to play God, we cannot change that. No one is perfect Stellar, and that's what makes us all unique."

A gentle smile tugged on Kira's lips. "Do you understand, Stellar? No one is blaming you for not being perfect and no one expects you to be. All we, and I think especially Shinn, want is for Stellar to be Stellar. Nothing more."

A crystalline tear slid down her cheek as she nodded at Kira. "Because Stellar is only human."

"There you go," Kira said as he ruffled Stellar's blonde locks. "Now, where is our ice-cream?"

* * *

apologies if it was quite lengthy! hmm does kira seem ooc? i wanted to portray him as remorseful over his past acts in the war but still having a cute and fun side. anyways, reviews greatly appreciated as i rarely write non-romance/angst stuff (:

dae.


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